‘Our legs are paintbrushes, the pitch is the canvas.’ 

 

 

This is a fitting motto for the RAFC, Oxford’s (and probably the world’s) only Artistic Football Club. But standing in the watch pitch at the team’s match in Uni Parks, it’s not the team’s visuals that are striking, but their noise. The sides of the match are packed with people, smoking, cheering, listening to music. This is the team’s ‘Cheer Squad’, the group of ever-growing apostles who flock to their matches (4 p.m. on Sunday, usually, if you’re looking to be converted). On a bright and otherwise sleepy weekend in Oxford, the atmosphere is excitable; It’s like if you filled Wembley with people whose Pinterest screentime exceeds 4 hours a day.  

 

 

And also, maybe, people who aren’t all that interested in the very best at football. 

 

 

But that’s exactly the point. 

 

 

Eve, the team’s captain, makes this intentional unseriousness clear. ‘It’s important to me that there’s an emphasis on it being for everyone. A lot of people in Oxford are intimidated by football, or by sports. It feels like no-one at this university is a beginner at anything, which makes starting something, and being a bit rubbish at it, seem impossible. We wanted to make the team something completely beginner friendly.’ 

 

 

And so they did. The team’s first poster (which, unsurprisingly, is a work of art) read ‘experience not necessary, enthusiasm essential.’ Their membership is entirely open; players include Ruskin artists at varying stages of their degrees, students from across different courses in the university, ‘guest coaches’ (ie, players’ boyfriends from out of town). It could also include you, if you were interested. The concept itself is definitely interesting; you would be forgiven for wondering what, exactly, differentiates an artistic football team from a regular, boring football team.  When I sit down with Eve and Tom, the team’s founding members, it’s my first question. 

 

 

They answer almost in unison: ‘Joy.’ 

 

 

Tom continues, ‘We have a massive emphasis on welcoming people. There’s a reason we all run around the playground as children— it’s fun. Oxford can be really individualistic and lonely. You can isolate yourself from people, and stress yourself out about not having an internship or not getting a first or whatever. But sometimes you just need to crack on and run about.’ 

 

 

This ‘crack on and run about’ philosophy of sport is proving alarmingly effective; the team has grown massively since their founding in October 2024. According to Tom, ‘it used to be literally six of us, in the shittiest pitches with lakes in the middle of them, playing without football boots.’ Then more people started showing up. They brought their friends, who sent in poster designs, and workshopped pitchside playlists, and screen-printed uniforms (most of which is done by Arden, the team’s social media manager/shirt maker/ subs coach). Now there are over 60 people on the official groupchat, with a thriving Instagram and ‘Massive’ pitchside support. Away from the pitch, members have been using the team as inspiration for their practice; they have featured in prints and paintings and photographic collections. There is a short film based on their exploits in the works; It’s like Rocky, if instead of boxing Rocky was really into Letterboxd, and Rothco, and if Rocky was soundtracked by Azealia Banks instead of ‘Eye of the Tiger’. 

 

 

It is no surprise that, in the wake of all this enthusiasm, the team is doing well. Members who had never played before are buying cleats (on Vinted), practicing harder, talking about winning cuppers; everyone loves an underdog, and they don’t come much underdog-ier than an open access art school football team. Daniella, the goalie, explains, ‘I never thought I would be the sort of person who played football. Or thought that I was good at it. But then I showed up here, and it was like hanging out, with football as an excuse. And then I looked up and I was so much better at football.’ Because, for all their proclaimed inexperience, the team play well. They win matches, ‘always, in spirit,’ and sometimes in practice. Not that it matters, of course. The prevailing atmosphere is one of silliness, mostly.  

 

 

According to Eve, this is part of the appeal. ‘The concept is a bit ridiculous, and I think it intrigues people. Teams that play us always seem to be a bit confused by us, and it’s that weirdness, the fact that there are so many people on the sidelines, and everyone is cheering and chatting and playing music, that means that they have a good time.’ 

 

 

Tom disagrees. ‘We’re no more ridiculous than the really intense college teams who take it all super seriously, and get annoyed when people miss goals. We’re just ridiculous in a happier way.’ 

 

 

The team’s ridiculousness, or joy, or whatever you want to call it, is infectious. Their WhatsApp group is open via Instagram DM, and they are keen for more ‘Cheer Squad’ and ‘ballers’ (absolutely NOT my word choice) on and off the pitch. 

 

 

Watching them play, in among the cigarette smoke and thrumming music and excited chatter, it’s hard to say if the Ruskin Artistic Football Club make kicking a ball around into a work of art, exactly.

 

 

But they do make it look like a lot of fun.∎

Words by Evie Power. Image courtesy Eve Alexander.