Sad Girl Poem

march — september, 2020

 

sleeping^[1]

at 4am^[2], waking^[3]

at noon: propranolol 20mg, sertraline 50mg, crying^[4] / crying^[5] / crying^[6].

[^[7]]

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^[1] was the wrong june, even this heat / electric, stinging / bitter-scented — i want to specify the dream intrusions: whirling burrs, sunspots digging into eyes, no darkness in sight — mercury-drunk

 

^[2] stranger than drowning: how the light shards into blades & the night is as wide as the ocean / a terrible

 

^[3] impossible / smog-like and choking / stranger than the sky, drowning in blue —

 

^[4] [how soft everything sharp

 

^[5] how strange we become in the dark

 

^[6] the air a memory of smoke]

 

^[7] i, too, am prone to lightning / appearing when least wanted // girl/phenomenon/ghost. ∎

 

Words by Annie Fan. Art by Alan Sulaivany.